What thoughts I have of you tonight, Walt Whitman, for
I walked down the sidestreets under the trees with a headache
self-conscious looking at the full moon.
    In my hungry fatigue, and shopping for images, I went
into the neon fruit supermarket, dreaming of your enumerations!
    What peaches and what penumbras!  Whole families
shopping at night!  Aisles full of husbands!  Wives in the
avocados, babies in the tomatoes!--and you, Garcia Lorca, what
were you doing down by the watermelons?

    I saw you, Walt Whitman, childless, lonely old grubber,
poking among the meats in the refrigerator and eyeing the grocery
boys.
    I heard you asking questions of each: Who killed the
pork chops?  What price bananas?  Are you my Angel?
    I wandered in and out of the brilliant stacks of cans
following you, and followed in my imagination by the store
detective.
    We strode down the open corridors together in our
solitary fancy tasting artichokes, possessing every frozen
delicacy, and never passing the cashier.

    Where are we going, Walt Whitman?  The doors close in
an hour.  Which way does your beard point tonight?
    (I touch your book and dream of our odyssey in the
supermarket and feel absurd.)
    Will we walk all night through solitary streets?  The
trees add shade to shade, lights out in the houses, we'll both be
lonely.

    Will we stroll dreaming of the lost America of love
past blue automobiles in driveways, home to our silent cottage?
    Ah, dear father, graybeard, lonely old courage-teacher,
what America did you have when Charon quit poling his ferry and
you got out on a smoking bank and stood watching the boat
disappear on the black waters of Lethe?

                                       -- Allen Ginsberg

Cheers darlin'
Here's to you and your lover boy
Cheers darlin'
I got years to wait around for you
Cheers darlin'
I've got your wedding bells in my ear
Cheers darlin'
You give me three cigarettes to smoke my tears away

And I die when you mention his name
And I lied, I should have kissed you
When we were running the reins

What am I darlin'?
A whisper in your ear?
A piece of your cake?
What am I, darlin?
The boy you can fear?
Or your biggest mistake?

Cheers darlin'
Here's to you and your lover man
Cheers darlin'
I just hang around and eat from a can
Cheers darlin'
I got a ribbon of green on my guitar
Cheers darlin'
I got a beauty queen
To sit not very far from here

I die when he comes around
To take you home
I'm too shy
I should have kissed you when we were alone

What am I darlin'?
A whisper in your ear?
A piece of your cake?
What am I, darlin?
The boy you can fear?
Or your biggest mistake?

Oh what am I? What am I darlin'?
I got years to wait...

To really love a woman

To understand her - you gotta know her deep inside

Hear every thought - see every dream

N' give her wings - when she wants to fly

Then when you find yourself lyin' helpless in her arms

Ya know ya really love a woman

When you love a woman you tell her that she's really wanted

When you love a woman you tell her that she's the one

Cuz she needs somebody to tell her that it's gonna last forever

So tell me have you ever really - really really ever loved a woman?

To really love a woman

Let her hold you - til ya know how she needs to be touched

You've gotta breathe her - really taste her

Til you can feel her in your blood

N' when you can see your unborn children in her eyes

Ya know ya really love a woman

When you love a woman you tell her that she's really wanted

When you love a woman you tell her that she's the one

Cuz she needs somebody to tell her that you'll always be together

So tell me have you ever really - really really ever loved a woman?

You got to give her some faith - hold her tight

A little tenderness - gotta treat her right

She will be there for you, takin' good care of you

Ya really gotta love your woman...

Then when you find yourself lyin' helpless in her arms

Ya know ya really love a woman

When you love a woman you tell her that she's really wanted

When you love a woman you tell her that she's the one

Cuz she needs somebody to tell her that it's gonna last forever

So tell me have you ever really - really really ever loved a woman?

So tell me have you ever really - really really ever loved a woman?

So tell me have you ever really - really really ever loved a woman?

下载

刚刚下载到94中国摇滚乐势力香港红磡演唱会的视频，重温了一下摇滚旧梦。记得是上中学的一个中午，下着雪，终于拿到了这场演唱会的录像带，回家就迫不及待的看了，震惊了，热血沸腾的。那时的摇滚乐真的让人兴奋，每天都在听唐朝黑豹的磁带，热衷于摇滚圈里的是是非非，每个乐队的成员都能如数家珍的说出来。他们大部分都是北京摇滚人，代表了80年代的北京胡同文化，和自己的生活经历很贴切。然而，逐渐的，他们消失了，大部分是真的消失了，小部分是变了样子。现在流行的是“欢快”的朋克，代表了90年代和新世纪的速食文化。下面是张培仁在演唱会结束后的感想，看看那时候的朴实文字吧。

PS：再往上搜索相关文章的时候发现了何勇的Blog —— 麒麟日记，挺有意思的，注意一下他的背景音乐。

1994年12月17日晚上8点，窦唯、张楚、何勇以及作为嘉宾演出的唐朝乐队所参加的「摇滚中国乐势力」演唱会在香港红磡体育馆正式开演，现场坐满了来自世界各地的媒体和近万名香港观众。在此之前他们很少有机会亲眼目睹来自北京的新音乐丰采，而在香港这个中国人的娱乐重镇 
中，红磡体育馆向来被视为偶像与巨星的舞台，人们在这里一向只为娱乐而来，在声光舞影中求取一夜欢乐。

没有一场演唱会像这天一样，没有熟知的偶像，没有华丽的衣裳，甚至没有人带着香港演出中惯见的哨子和萤光棒，他们空手而来，这是一个没人见过，不知道发生什么事的演出。在没有人能预料到的状况下，这场长达三个半小时的演唱会，几乎全程陷入了不可思议的壮态。红磡体育馆历来严格的规定阻止不了上万名决心要站起来的观众，他们用双手和喉咙舞动、嘶吼，他们用双足顿地、跳跃，连向来见惯演出场面的媒体和保安人员也陷入了激动的情绪中，在香港，几乎没有一场演唱会像这样疯狂。

隔天港台的报纸大都以空前显著的版面报导这场演出的盛况，「摇滚灵魂，震爆香江」、「中国摇滚，袭卷香港」、「红磡，很中国」许多评论文章先后对这场演出做出评述，更多文化人和音乐人先后发表许多意见，大家都对演出当天的热烈反应做出高度评价，也同时提出了一个问题：「到底发生了什么事？」

北京的新音乐乐手们带给港台的冲击正式来自于此，他们首次证明偶像不是一成不变的神话，在香港，这个华人娱乐工业的中心里，有上万个群众同时疯狂于「真实」的力量；他们首次证明，来自丰厚大地母亲的文化养分能够让人产生新的视野和想象，他们见到了久违的音乐本质，发现这是和灵魂相通的线路，因而拋开了惯有的矜持，吶喊疯狂。而带给港台唱片夜与媒体的冲击也是来自于此，他们开始相信，商业应该只是一种流程，一种制度，商业不是一种音乐形式。

这次演出首次结合来自中港台各方的工作人员，他们都对中国人的文化有一种强烈的使命和想象，他们大都相信中国人将会有更繁盛的文化景观，那也不是来自于虚构的娱乐幻境，而应该是来自于更真实广阔的创造力量，他们在这场演出中，都看见了这样的希望。

而对于长久和北京新音乐乐手共事的工作人员如我，并不能维持太久的兴奋，至少兴奋是不够的。我们看见过去十年来，他们在音乐中如何投注全部的生命，我看见他们每一个音符都是生命的延伸，我看见他们对音乐深刻的感情，在香港所带给人们冲击热潮并不是他们创作的目的，在香港，他们公开告诉媒体，北京才是他们生命的源头，中国才是他们创作的根，对所有流连于商业体制中寻求发财致富的人们而言，他们的想法几近不可理解，我们却觉得，这才是中国新音乐的本质，站在这个基础上，我们有更多的未来要去面对，有更遥远的任务在等待，香港演出的成功，只是一开始。

张培仁 1994.12.20

音乐·我

前两天逃课没有去单位，早上很早起来开始写东西（什么？你不知道我是作家？），整整一早都在听陶吉吉的《就是爱你》，感觉听着这首歌心情非常的轻松愉快。记得上学的时候，一次在网上和Lida谈论起音乐，我说：“如果我听到一首好听的歌，我希望它的声音非常非常的大，声音能把我包围起来，并且所有人都可以听到，所有人都有和我一样的感觉。”，ABBA有首歌叫《Thank you for the music》，一种很虔诚的感觉。所以我经常会把我听到的好听的歌发给朋友们，这是音乐与我。

电影·我

周围的朋友经常会向我询问最近有什么好看的电影，或者让我介绍几部好看的电影。因为大家都知道我是个电影爱好者。其实我也算不上爱好者，也就算是个喜欢听故事的孩子吧。我喜欢从电影里看别人的生活，看别人处事的方法，这很有意思，在某个时刻电影里的人物做了什么，如果是我，我会怎么做？小时候，在隔壁哥哥的带领下开始看恐怖片，经常去租录像带看，那时他解释为什么要看恐怖片的原因是：“恐怖片很虚幻，离生活很远，我们活在这么现实的世界里，看的电影就应该远离生活一些，这才能够放松。”，这也是一个看电影的目的吧，逃离现实。电影给我带来很多感动，很多振奋，很多娱乐。当然电影也会给生活带来负面的影响，因为现实并不会像电影里那样发展，电影是高于生活的，这是电影与我。

这个周末过得真是郁闷啊，周一要交一个任务，星期五就逃跑没有上班，在家里写呀写呀的。很少里开过电脑，本来想今天能写完，然后写一遍关于蔡明亮的blog，看来是没戏了，一会还是要继续的写呀写的。

正在听Eric Clapton的专辑《Slow Hand》，据说之所以叫slow hand，是因为他的手太快了，让人看着觉得很慢。。真是夸张啊。

I was moved again by the movie  Hearts in Atlantis when i saw it again last night. I think it's the best movie i have ever seen. It's so pity that i can't be as innocent and pure as children are. However, I have to do what i am doing now, and will still be doing in the future.

Here goes the song Smells like teen spirit.

 heard a familiar song in a film named 《Butterfly》 which I saw on weekend. I couldn't remember  who singed it, but it's so familiar.... it sounded like Wangfei's or TheCranberries'.... and then... I  got it at last. It's the 《she》of  the band Hopscotch (跳房子) and I found an actress in the film is the Voice of the Hopscotch -- 田原.

here is the song...